Editing Of The Paragraph

Editing of a passage

Tariq Ahmad Malik

Every paragraph presents a main idea which is then elaborated and illustrated by associated ideas. These ideas, in order to present the perspective of the writer, need to have proper coherence(unity in terms of the idea),and cohesion (Unity reached in terms of language).In order to make the paragraph error free ,we need to learn what are the common mistakes committed by us.

Common Mistakes Usually committed by us.

1.      Subject-verb agreement:

A singular subject requires a singular verb,and a plural subject a plural verb.

Example:   Identification of these goods have been difficult.

Identification is abstract noun, and hence singular.

It will take singular verb “has”.

Now Correct sentence is:

·        Right:Identification of these goods has been difficult.

·        Wrong :   The best way to keep your children happy are  to give them enough responsibility.

·        Right:The best way to keep your children happy is to  give them enough responsibility.

·        Wrong:Milk and breadare a typical breakfast.

·        Right:Milk and bread  is a typical breakfast.

(Compound Subject, sometimes, refer to the same person or thing ,so the singular verb is used.eg: Milk and butter.)

2.      Tense:

Whatever tense is used ,it should remain consistent  throughout the piece of writing.

Wrong: Shahid wanted to know why Majid is sad,but he will not tell him.

Right: Shahid wanted to know why Majid was sad, but he would not tell him.

3.      Modifiers(Adjectives and Adverbs):

Avoid misplaced and dangling modifiers.

Wrong: Sajad told her that he wanted to marry her frequently.

Right;:Sajad frequently told her that he wanted to marry her.

Wrong: Rashid picked up a girl in a blue jacket named Shazia.

Right: Rashid picked up Shazia,a girl in a blue jacket.

·        Avoid Fancy words and phrases when Simpler ones convey the idea.

Wrong:  Walking across the busy street ,a bus almost hit me.

Right: As I walked across the busy street, a bus almost hit me.

4.      Punctuation Marks

Use punctuation marks as per merit they have power to change the connotation.

Exercise:

Folowing sentences have at least on correction,identify and correct-

Sentences with error underlined	Right word
Today morning I woke up early	This
What is the different?	Difference
I met Shahid two years before.	Ago
Thank you,I really enjoyed.	Enjoyed myself
This is a six months course.	month
Did you loose your cell phone?	lose
I have a free time now.	Omit “a”
Rashid is a teacher	Fullstop missing
My mother she works in a bank.	Omit “she”
we enjoy watching movies.	We(capital)
I like very much Chinese food.(Wrong)
I like Chinese food very much.(Right)
Maria need help with her homework.	needs
We received your letter.	received

Quick Conclusion:

A sentence, in order to be correct in every respect, must have.

·        Capital letter in the beginning.

·        Subject-verb agreement.

·        Period in the end.

·        Proper word order.

·         Correct Spelling.

Example: Babies cry.

………………………………………………………………………………………

Specimen Editing:

1.      According to Berlin’s Sunday Times medical error are the third more frequent cause of death in the world after cancer or heart diseases.The number of death in hospital due to medical negligence is so high as 40000 a year .Another 280000 patients get either wrong medicine or are giving overdoses of the prescribed medicine.

Solution:

According to Berlin’s Sunday Times medical errors are the third most frequent cause of deaths in the world after cancer and heart diseases.The number of deaths in hospitals due to medical negligence is as high as 40000 a year .besides 280000 patients get either wrong medicine or are given overdoses of the prescribed medicine.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Specimen-2

Yesterday I Go to meet my uncle ……….

He was feel unwell  ………….

Doctor said that his blood pressure is   ….

Very high. He shall take precautions.  ……..

When I reach there he was sleep.   …

His family members was also  …….

Present there. I wish them and asked about his health.  …..

Solution:

Yesterday I go to meet my uncle = went

He was feel unwell =feeling

Doctor said that his blood pressure is=was   

Very high. He shall take precautions= should. 

When I reach there he was sleep.=sleeping

His family members was also =were

Present there. I wish them and asked about his health=wished. 

Specimen-3

Yesterday an old man slip on the  ………

Road and broke his foot. He was  ……….

Shift to hospital by sum people .   ………

His X-ray report said he has  ……

Only an minor fracture…………

However the doctor put plaster on his feet  ……..

And adviced him one weak bed rest  ……….

That old man  a retired teacher.      …………..

Solution:

Yesterday an old man slip on the =  slipped

Road and broke his foot. He was=    x  

Shift to hospital by sum people . = shifted, some 

His X-ray report said he has  =had

Only an minor fracture= a

However the doctor put plaster on his feet=  foot  

And adviced him one weak bed rest = advised, week

That old man  a retired teacher.      == man was

Specimen:4

Deforestation mean reckless cutting =…….  

Of forest. These trees is often cut by=……

 people for fuel. There are unlawful =…….

cutting of tree. Many forest is cut =……….

for serving as raw material for=…………..

factories. Thus causes for deforestation=…….

is many. And we is decreasing our=………

forest area. Deforestation are a cause=……

when we cut trees we lose many Things=……..

Solution:

Deforestation mean reckless cutting = means 

Of forest. These trees is often cut by= forests ,are

 people for fuel. There are unlawful =……is

          cutting of tree. Many forest is cut = trees, are

for serving as raw material for=…x………..

factories. Thus causes for deforestation=…x….

is many. And we is decreasing our=…are,are

forest area. Deforestation are a cause=…is

when we cut trees we lose many Things=…