Poem
THE BATH OF FLOOD
By: Mir Rooshan Khayal
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Bewildering with every rain drop
The wick of the lamp in the dark
Still was disclosing that
Not only his things of retinue
Have been given to the Wind
But the ascending waters have
Crooked his ever erected head
Not only drenched his exalted home
But also his lofty estacy.
He had chaned his knees
He was praying to God
Like the previous supplications
This was not an alloy
Not an alloy of businesses trick
And an act of pretence.
It was a cry of man in want
Reflecting the every glare of candour.
The water although was turbid
Had washed his self conciet .
The light from whip although foggy
Had enlightened him
And Vanished his folly.
..........................
The wick of the lamp in the dark
Still was disclosing that
Not only his things of retinue
Have been given to the Wind
But the ascending waters have
Crooked his ever erected head
Not only drenched his exalted home
But also his lofty estacy.
He had chaned his knees
He was praying to God
Like the previous supplications
This was not an alloy
Not an alloy of businesses trick
And an act of pretence.
It was a cry of man in want
Reflecting the every glare of candour.
The water although was turbid
Had washed his self conciet .
The light from whip although foggy
Had enlightened him
And Vanished his folly.
..........................
Analysis by Tariq Ahmad Tariq
The poem has been planted in a sad tone.
The word bewildering exposes the scenario before hand.The poem doen't have any punctuation marks that creates different shades distint from one another.
The word bewildering exposes the scenario before hand.The poem doen't have any punctuation marks that creates different shades distint from one another.
"Bewildering" and "disclosing" are human traits given to the wick of lamp ,and thus personification immersed in visual imagery is magnified.
"Not only his things of retinue have been given to the wind"
The statement seems to be losely connected to the thread.Who is the invisible agent ,is not clear. The effect of wind is not created.
The statement seems to be losely connected to the thread.Who is the invisible agent ,is not clear. The effect of wind is not created.
"Crooked his ever erected head"
Is forcibly made to connote that before these floods, the man would never demonstrate his humble nature.
Is forcibly made to connote that before these floods, the man would never demonstrate his humble nature.
I also fail to figure out the connotations of "to change ones knees".
"The water though was turbid has washed his self conciet" .Here the conjuction 'though' is not followed with a powerful contrast. Turbid water has utterly failed as a metaphor.
"The water though was turbid has washed his self conciet" .Here the conjuction 'though' is not followed with a powerful contrast. Turbid water has utterly failed as a metaphor.
The poet has tried his level to create a telling effect with a resounding imagery of flood but he should have focused a little more on the word painting.
Over all good effort.
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