Poem: Masked Without Voice(Dedicated To Zainab) Poet: Rabia Kirmani,and its analysis by Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Rabia Kirmani

Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Poem: Masked Without Voice(Dedicated To Zainab)Poet: Rabia Kirmani

Brief Analysis by:

 Tariq Ahmad Tariq

A nice theme has been woven into a poem. It does really show how much the poetess is receptive to the social needs.

The plight of Zainab seems to have shaken the poetess to the core.
The poetess has created visual imagery at the outset. She seems to be lamenting that the genuine voices have been choked,  and the humanity has been deported to the ground to be trampled upon every bit.
When Zainab was to be bruised, the nature too seemed to have  been  conspiring. The sun hid his face, and the dead of the night prevailed. The cries of the victim could be heard by none. 

The poetess feels the pain and listens to the cries which the helpless girl,zainab was denied to shout. She visualizes her being bruised. Her childhood is brought to the altar, and thorns are run deep down the innocence. The poetess mourns the sleuth of the masses and cries out if they keep inactive the whole race will, for sure, face the same fate. 

Lot of love for the poetess.
Stay blessed.


Nice poem. Nice word choice. Nice thematic composition.

Slip Between The Cup And The Lip, A true Story by Tariq Ahmad Tariq

"There Is Many A Slip Between The Cup and The Lip"

A Story By:Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Behrampora Raffiabad

While driving home from Dr Rafeeq Masoodi's residence, my friend asked me, "Tariq! What does it mean when we say there is many a slip between the cup and the lip. "
I smiled because I knew Hassan Azhar's ways well. 
"I suppose, this proverb is used to emphasize the power of destiny in our lives. We have the capacity to propose, but God, at times, knows well how to dispose", I explained. 
"Today you were victimized", Azhar laughed me silly.

"Please tell what happened", I pleaded.

"First, give me the account what engagements you had today here at Masoodi sir's residence", Azhar asked.

I started recollecting the thread of events. 

I started, "At reaching his residence we saw the grand old man seeing off some dignitaries at the entrance. We kept waiting near the tent gate. He came barely after two minutes. At seeing me he exclaimed, "Tariq, a great gift was given away by the departed soul while leaving for the heavenly abode. My niece Durdana Javid Masoodi topped the jkbose class 12th examination. "
I saw a cute smile playing on the lips of Dr Masoodi. 
The floods of the smiles on the face of the grand old man elated me as i felt myself blessed  that Dr Masoodi was sharing this happy moment with me. He  took me to the tent where we were served food. After the food was served, we saw dignitaries from all corners of the valley  pouring in. Dr Masoodi would, time and again, address me, and give me their introduction. A young man kept in front of him, and Masoodi Sir yelled, "Tariq! Do you know this young man. "
"Yes Sir, I think he is Dr Aabid, who often forgets my name", my answer broke the gathering into smiles. 
"Have I told you about his appointment as Editor Cultural Academy", Dr Masoodi asked. 
Though I had already been told by Masoodi sir about this, yet for the sake of other interested people I answered I knew not. He then told how he made it to the coveted post. 
In the main while, we saw Durdana Javid, the topper of class 12th BOSE Examination entering the tent to have some message ferried for Dr Masoodi. You (Azhar), stole the opportunity to record her views about her grand success in the BOSE examination. Durdana spoke in English with utmost fluency and with an inspiring accent. She thanked  the Almighty Allah, the support of her parents, teachers, and friends. 
After spending two hours in the tent listening to the valuable exchanges of different people with Dr Rafeeq Masoodi we left for home by 4:30 pm with a promise to our patron that we would visit him again in the coming days.

After having told the whole story to Hassan Azhar, I asked him to tell me where I missed to make the contact of my lip with the cup. Azhar did again smile and said the moment when Masoodi sir addressed you saying,  "Tariq! the departed soul gifted us with a delightful news", your unseen friend, Farhaan, came to me whispering in my ear, "Hello Sir, I am Farhan. How are you? "
I greeted him, and in the wink of an eye,  he boarded the car which was waiting him. The opportunity was too precious  to be missed, but was too short to call you to meet Farhan. The irony of the destiny was that You were only two feet away from Farhan, and you still missed his glimpse. "

I smiled myself silly and laughed but it was the laugh of the widow.
I kept murmuring for the whole evening,  "there is many a slip between the cup and the lip".

Poem "Sopore Massacre" by Rabia Kirmani, and its Analyses.

The poem "Sopore massacre" is written by Rabia Kirmani, who is just 15,and has a great inclination towards written words. The poem was posted on a renowned literary page "Rafiabad Adbi Markaz" for analysis and critical appreciation on the eve of 6th January 2018, the 25th anniversary of Sopore Massacre.
Many critiques as well as writers put their best efforts to deconstruct the poem and decipher its message. Lets have a brief look upon the poem, and then a few of these analyses written by different poets and critiques.

..................................

"Sopore Massacre"

Howling sirens
Terrible dark clouds
Pillaged Rain
Signal that the sky was crying
Evil Sky!
Hiding behind clouds
Ashamed

At the first light of
6 january 1993
Mark of baba yousuf lane
Inception of their bane
Hushed Town
There was crackdown
A single Gunshot
Apple town turned blot

94th battalion went on rampage
butchered 57 civilians
pumped bullet into the bodies
Dragged mercilessly
The men were lashed

JKY-1901 Driver out
passengers shootout
Wailing aloud
Shootings everywhere
48 faced down in the mud
Inside the four corners of this town
Snow meltdown

One bullet left them dead
the blood they bled
Left the ground stained red
9 burnt alive
Seeing the flames
Ashes deprive

Souls burnt
Hearts died
Apple town cried
Torched buildings
Living debased
Massacre quoted as Farce

News hitted home
Looked into my mothers eyes
She was searching for a dad with a smile
Looked into my sisters eyes
She was stitching Dad's torn clothes that night
Looked into my Brothers eyes
He was lifting the Coffin of Dad
Looking into mine
They wanted HIM Back
                         _I lost my heaven
*************************

Tariq Ahmad Tariq

ANALYSES OF THE POEM:

1.By: Tariq Ahmad Tariq

"Sopore Massarce" by Rabia Kirmaani

The poem seems  to be an eye witness account from the perspective of a minor girl from a destitute household. Her father, as per the connotations of the text,  has just left the home to earn his living.
All of sudden the sirens start howling and a peaceful town is brutaly exposed to miseries never known to it before. 

Gunshots are heard,  and the people are butchered like cattle, and their bodies are mercilessly stuffed with bullets. The slaughtered men are dragged on the roads, and the roads are thus painted  red. The rampage of the houses and the business establishments follows and the hunger of the wolves is thus satiated to the core.

The poor girl is fear struck. She has, however, no fears about her family untill some the mysterious news flies and shudders the poor cottage to the core.
The mother is sobbing but holding patience. The sister,  devoid of the fact,  is  still stiching dad's torn clothes to be used by him the next day.
All of sudden the minor girl sees her brother  from the window lifting the coffin of his dad. Thus the heaven of the minor girl is snatched from her along with some 57 families whose wait for their parents will never see an end.

The poem is brimmed with pathos. The visual as well as sound imageries have been lavishly used. Sirens have been projected the way as if wolves were howling. Rain has been presented as if it were outlaws all set to plunder a happy and prosperious hamlet. Yes these metaphorical connotations has given the poem a smooth go, because these wolves as the poem plodes ahead then suck the blood of innocents, and the scenes of rampage are seen at its maxima.

Kudos to this sweet child poet. 
................

2.
Analysis by:
Dr Rafiq Masoodi

Beauty of it...
Its a beautiful depiction of historical happening mixed with poetic imagery but historical content has always to be consolidated with docu_facts which poet has infact tried to mix with...people who are witness to this tragedy will know the ethos and pain and the poetic xpression of poet...
This is "Realistic and Formalistic Approach " to literature which Eliot TS and Richards (am missing full name) would say A MUST in literature.
My suggestion to poet wud b to refabric and repolish the poem and further  study or at least read gr8 classical and contemporary western and Eastern English poets to hav further experience of poetic xpression,form and style...
Kudos to the poet fr using xtra ordinary vcabulary of historical facts in most befitting and aesthetical maner.
Poet is bound to touch dizzy heights in future....

........................................... 

3.Analysis by:
Farhan Zain

Itz the incident which I m nt familiar with but I hv heard from my inmates ..I can say that the poet has written the poem with an immotional touch..Tragic element in the poem pinches the nerves and the pathos is seen as if the poet is an eye witness to the incident..A good attempt and a great  start up by the budding poet..It is really priceless..The pain and suffering is evident ..a scene is created as if we r watching it ...that means poet has made us to observe and feel the trauma he feels..It is a pathetic story of a hospitable land kashmir....Hats off to the poet
...........................................

4.Analysis by:
Hassan Azhar

Sopore Massacre is a very good attempt from the poetess. She is not witnessed to that dreadful scene but that horrible scene  would have been observed by some one else where from the poetess picked the thread and started knitting this master piece.
The poem in a way, is presented, shows  that poetess is observing every thing minutely of this frightful massacre. The diction of the poem is degnified. Words not only say what happened but they also cry, weap, crawl, creep, escape like those victimised and hapeless people who were gunned down ruthlessly.
The artistic approach of this buddin bloom poetess seems  mature. She knows fully what to say and how to say. As mentioned above that she has not observed the bloody situation. She was only made known about the massacre but the imagery of the poem speakes about the volumes of her ability, skill and craft. The countless qualities of this beautiful poem is a clear indication of poetesses bright future. The affectif of the narrater makes the reader sensational. The mode of speech is motivating. The compositions and compounds are not ambiguous.
Howling sirens, terrible dark clouds, pittaged rain, crying evil sky, hushed town, stained red ground, deprived ashes, burent souls, torched buildings create pain  and havoc  all around. There is enough linkage between the words and the idea.
Congrats to this budding bloom poetess

We the members of Rafiabad Adbi Markaz wish very good future to this young poetess. We wish her grand sucess. We expects that the poetess will groom herself and will explore new heights in this field. We are all praises for this budding poet of North Kashmir.
Admin
RAAM
Tariq Ahmad Tariq.

ماہ پارہ شبیر کی غزل اور اس کا تجزیہ

Tariq Ahmad Tariq

شاعرہ۔ ماہ پارہ شبیر
تجزیہ نگار۔ طارق احمد طارق

غزل

برسےجومیرااشک گہرباردیکھنا
نخل مرادہوگاثمرداردیکھنا

نفرت کی تنددھوپ مین سایہ حیات پر
بن کےشجرکرےگامیراپیاردیکھنا

پرسش توہوگی تم سےبھی دربارعدل مین
اک مین ہی نہین ہونگی خطاکاردیکھنا

دنیای عشق مین یہ تعجب کی بات ہے
خودداردل رباکووفاداردیکھنا

ہرشخص کونہ میرامخالف قیاس کر
کوئی توہوگامیراطرفداردیکھنا

آئےکبھی جویوسف کنعان روبرو
چاہےنہ کون مصرکابازاردیکھنا
منصورسےجولےگازٙرِعشق
مستعار
کیونکرنصیب اسکانہ ہوداردیکھنا


۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔۔
غزل کا تجزیہ
تجزیہ نگار۔طارق احمد طارق

غزل بہت اچھی ہے۔فصاحت کی چاشنی سے لبریز ہے۔مذہبِ عشق کا موضوع انداز بدل بدل کر پیش ہوا ہے۔شاعر کا لہجہ کافی سلجھا ہوا دکھائی دے پڑتا ہے

فارسی آمیز تراکیب کا استعمال شاعر کے وسیع المطالعہ ہونے کا  اشاریہ ہے۔
مطلع کافی خوبصورت ہے۔
نخل مراد کو ثمردار کرنے کےلیے اشک ِگہربار کی بارانی ضروری ہے۔یہ تعلیل حقیقی و مجازی ہر دو عشقیہ شاہراہوں کے لیے جزو لاینفئک ہے۔

دوسرے شعر کی خوبی حسنِ تضاد کی کہکشاؤں سے دوبالا ہوچکی ہے ۔نفرت کی تند دھوپ کے بالمقابل پیار کا سایہ محاکات کی قندیل سجاتا نظر آتا ہے۔
تند دھوپ کے بجائے تیز دھوپ کا مرکب ذیادہ مستعمل ہے، مگر وزن کی مجبوری کا کیا جائے۔

تیسرا شعر بہت خوبصورت ہے۔ عاشق اور محبوب کی معاملہ بندی کا غماز ہے۔نُوک جُوک اور تلخ وشیرین یادوں کے لیے دونوں کے سر الزام رکھنے سے سنگ ملامت لیلی اور نہ مجنون پر برسنے کا خطرہ باقی رہتا ہے۔

اگلے شعر میں حسن تضّاد کی صنعت کا پھر سے استعمال کرکے شاعر نے اپنی ذبان دانی کا عندیہ دیا ہے۔ مخالف بمقابل طرفدار حسن تضاد پیش کرتا ہے۔

یوسف کنعان کی وجہ سےبازار کی وقعت کا بڑھنا قرین القیاس ہے۔اس حقیقت کو شاعر نے ندرت کے ساتھ پیش کیا ہے۔
پوری غزل ایک حسین گلدستہ کہ مانند ہے۔موضوع گرچہ روایتی ہیں، مگر لہجہ شاعر کی انفرادیت کو آشکارہ کرتا ہے۔اسلوب کی خوشبو بھی باغ کا پتہ دئے بغیر نہیں رہی ہے۔شاعر کو ڈھیر سارا پیار، اور داد ہی داد۔
خدا کرے زور قلم اور ذیادہ۔


Poem "Can You Handle Me" by Rahamatullah Mir, and its analysis by Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Poet: Rahamatullah Mir

Analysis by:Tariq Ahmad Tariq

The poem
"Can You Handle Me", has been woven to rhyme, and sound rhythmic. The simple diction makes the poem a taffy to relish upon lavishly.

The content suggests that the narrator does either live with a naive temper or  poses selfishly bad tempered so as to get rid of one-sided affair that he feels has been afflicted upon him. The narrator posses to be merciless.

Looking between the lines, the content suggests that the narrator deliberately chooses to tease the candid emotions of his beloved. His target is to bring his beloved to tears,  but he chooses to go slow and discover new low every time.

There is a satire to candid love in making. New low could be blocking the efforts to meet, talk or respond, or pretending selfishly disloyal,
or showing least inclination towards continuing the affair,
or  prolonging her wait.

These all things are aimed at  disappointing  the beloved to the core, so that  she could be made to lament.

The second stanza, as I could understand, has not too good a muse attached. The beloved is spared,  for timebeing,  from cutting her slacks, and instead her backs are preferred to be targetted. The demand for rings, and songs seems defeating the idea before hand. The poet may necessarily have some symbolic treatment attached with it which seems to be far fetched conclusion to the reader presently.

The third stanza is keeping the dictating tone of the narrator intact. The beloved is denied of the hope of happy journey. She is dictated to pay the fee incase she wants to keep it going. The mention of fee suggests that the affair is not a pure one based on mutual trust,  but a mere bargaining, and the beloved's pure love is facing blackmail at the hands of the greedy lover. He asks her time and again the same introgative, "Can you handle me? ", suggesting that she can never handle him, so it is better to leave him and forget him.

The fourth stanza keeps the mischievious tone of the narrator going. The lover here,  puts a price tag to himself, and alarms his beloved explaining that even when she could afford to buy him, she would utterly fail to make him loyal to her. He being selfish to the core will erode all of her leisure that too for no avail. He keeps busy creating fears and apprehensions.

He tries his every nerve  to make her believe that he is not too handsome, and that he is obsessed with spirits, so it is never possible to handle him.

The poem projects a merciless lover who enjoys teasing his beloved and makes hay. This is a good addition and possibly a satire to the modern day affairs that usually harbours the same intention but keeps the impression otherwise.
The poet has good style to have his say said. He, however, needs to work harder to weed out the lines defeating the argument.
Kudos to the poet.


Poem "His Land is Kashmeer, " by Shahid Shafi, and analysis by "Tariq Ahmad Tariq"

Shahid Shafi's poem
His Land Is Kashmir
Revew by: Tariq Ahmad Tariq

Asalaam Alikum.
I suppose every poet treasures aestheticism. Poets know the art of exploring beauty of ideas. They choose inspirations worth spreading, feelings worth sharing, and harbour words which attract all the senses of the readers simulteanously. Poets never use monotonous words. They shun the words which fail to convey the ideas in their original occurence. These words, like those of roses, seem to smell sweet at the very first sight. Emotions carried arround in the cart of unfamaliar diction find poor respondands.
The great poets of every age have believed in the simple diction. Wordsworth of the gone by ages, and Maya Angelou of the present age need not the help of lexicons or thesaruses to understand. Their message finds no transmission loss any where in the world.
I suppose the kashmiri born poets writing in English are tough to understand,  than any of the native English poets. Kashmiri poets, i suppose, fit ideas to the words having different connotations and feel the work is done for them. They need , as i feel,to revisit their approach and write heartfelt sentiments in the natural flow, they get birth in.

When I read the poem. I see that the first stanza is simply a pack of phrases with out completion of the idea.
The word "is" is needed to be inserted before "frightened" to make it a complete idea. The first stanza, even after making it connotative, still fails to evoke response, or raise curiousity in the reader.
The second stanza presents "a monster", gulping the youths. The boy presented in the first stanza is made to repeat the same helplessness which he is destined with in the first stanza. The monister is shown doing nothing to the boy. Here the narrater leads from the front and paints the  helplessness of the boy on his canvas.

In the whole poem 'liquidation dreams', and 'monister' could have been developed into symbols, and the reader could have found his role by making varied connotations; but the poet has explained every thing before hand, and spoiled the texture of the poem to the core.
Barring visual images, the poem has nothing to showcase. The poem loses epigramic essence.
We all believe that
Words are just like leaves, and
Where they most abound
Much fruit of sense is rarely found.
The prose version of this poem can be even more concise than that of the poem itself.

Summary:
In a sorrowful night, a run- away boy from an opressed land got frightened with his floating dreams. An awful monister, in this land, would gulf the youth of this land. The boy at seeing him started sobbing and chrushing teeth in desperation. The poet notices, and simply potrays his helplessness on the canvas.

The poet has put his best efforts. He, however, needs embrace a broader perspective to and prensent his sentiments accordingly.
Good luck to the poem.. 

غزل "طارق احمد طارق"۔تبصرہ۔حسن اظہر۔شاھد شفیع۔

Tariq Ahmad Malik

غزل.... طارق احمد طارق
تبصر نگار... حسن اظہر

ازچی غزل ووچھتھ گو دل واریاہ شاد. پانژن شارن پیٹھ مشتمل یہ غزل چھے سیٹھہے نفیس، شاندار تہ جاندار. مذکور غزلہ ہند اسلوب چھے بالکل سادروار باسان تہ شاعر چھے واریہس حدس تام پپنی الگ پہچان بناونس منز کامیاب سپدمت. غزل وننہ خآطر یمہ لوازمات چھے، تمہ چھے سارے مذکور غزل پانس اندر شپراوتھ...
شاعر چھے گہے ماضی تہ حال ٹکرآوتھ پرن والس مثبت سوچ عطا کران تہ گاہے تصویریہ ہندی زہ روخ پیش کرتھ بوزن والس حآران کران.
غزلہ ہندس ردیف قافیس اندر چھنہ کانہہ جدت، ہاں البتہ شاعرہ سندی باڑو دار تخیلن چھے اتھ ضرور نویر بخشمت... البتہ یوکن زنہ وارہو دوستو اشارہ چھے کرمت سہ گو خیالس چھنہ الفاظ معنی رنگی ساتھ ہیکان دیتھ....
شعر نمبر ۱:
غزلہ ہند مطلع چھ واریاہ خوبصورت. شارس اندر یس صورتِ حال تہ اجمالی کیفیت وتلان چھے، سہ چھے پرن والس اکھ عجیب لطف دوان. مگر اتھ شارس اندر چھے اکھ غآر ضروری لفظ استعمال گمت یمہ سببہ شارک حسن ہنا زائل چھ گومت.... لفظ «سہ» چھے شارس اندر میانہ خیالہ عروضی مجبوری....
ناگہ جوین تہ لولہ وتن ہند خوبصورت استعمال سآتی چھے شار سیود دلس منز وسان مگر سوال چھ ناگہ جوئے ہیکہ آستھ مگر لول وتہِ  ہنزی ترکیب چھا روا....
شعر نمبر۲:
یہ چھے انتہائی خوبصورت شار. شاعرس چھے اوبر تہ زون ووچھتھ کس تام عاشق یاد پیوان یس اوبرک تہ زونہٍ ہند لولہ منظر ووچھتھ بے بس چھے گژھان... اوبرکی زونہِ مآٹھی کرن چھے شاعرہ سنز اعلی  فنکاری ہند باس دوان...
عاشق آوارہ بہ مثلِ اوبر، معشوق پر کشش بہ مثلِ زون...
شعر نمبر ۳:
یہ شار چھے الفاظن ہندی ورتاو سببہ کمزور مگر خیالہ رنگی اعلی
شاعر چھے ونان یوتام یمس رات...
یوتام تہ گو رات تام
ووچھس شاف کرن چھے البتہ سادر وار ترکیب
شار نمبر ۴:
یہ شار چھے تم کربلہک برملا اظہار یتھ اندر آسی سارے ہنہ آمتی چھے.... یتین چھے شاعر سنز حس آگہی عروجس پیٹھ
شار نمبر ۵:
تاج محل اچھن تل روزن، دل تہ جگر سجد کرن چھے پرن والس خبر کوت واتناوان تہ اکھ حسین تہ خوبصورت منظر چشمن منز بساوان

کلہم پآٹھی چھے غزل واریاہ اصل تہ شاعرن چھے اکھ کامیاب کوشش کرمژ... ازیک دنیا، یم شاعری ہند تقاضہ چھے کران تتھ پیٹھ چھے مذکورہ غزل واریہس حدس تام ووتران...

حسن اظہر
جنرل سیکرٹری
رفیع آباد ادبی مرکز
Dated: 03/12/2017
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Shahid Shafi Review
Incredible! Belive me the poet has striked a master stroke in the poem. The subject is altogether a novel one showering rainbow of romanticism. The sucess of the poem lies on the treatment of irony poet has used. One line is complete contrast to the suceeding line. I remember here the modern critic of english literature Cleaneth Brooks who in an essay titled "Irony as a principle of structure" stresses the importance of irony in the poetry. Same irony is the beauty of the present Gazal.
Look at the second splendid feature of the poem that is oxymorn. There are two opposite states of ideas between the lines that is oxymorn.
The Gazal begins in a catchy manner and sudden arrests the attention of reader. The man who was yesterday closing the brook(was filling it with soil to close down it) was welcoming people with bouquet of flowers. He was now full of love and affection and has denied to hatred yesterday he bore. What a great begining!
Look at the second line. Beauty i must say here is in the writing of this poem. His wounds of love were awaken afresh when he saw clouds kissing the moon. This verse is filled with tons of rommance.
Look at the third verse. His bossom was frightened and silent yesterday. Look today how wittily he is crossing the dal lake. Beauty sir poet. You have shown your worth of singularity.

Look at another verse. I am impressed. Yeasterday He was proud of his city life but look how he is now searching chinar shade. He is now fed up with the same city that was rich the facilities of life but now it is polluted and wore an ugly look.

The poem is a clean anger against the modern values of life. The subject of the poem is itself moden and grave one. The symbols and metaphors places it a unique position among modern Gazals.

Kudos to the poet.

Reviewer
Shahid Shafi