Is Happiness A Choice?

Is Happiness A Choice?

By:   Tariq Ahmad Malik

       Behrampora Raffiabad

Every human being is destined to taste happy as well as unpleasant moments during his entire life span. There are certain situations which make us feel happy (e.g.), Marriage  ceremonies ,birthday parties, festivals etc. There are also certain occasions which have grief attached (e.g.), funerals, accidents, and failures etc. There is , however, a third set of situations in which we opt to be either happy or upset. This situation may arise at our homes, in our offices, and at our work places. In these cases we opt whether to appreciate somebody’s efforts or disregard him. Whether to give somebody respect or ignore him out rightly. Here ,in this situation ,we do deliberately choose between regard and disregard, approval and disapproval, envy and jealousy, ego and selflessness etc. .This phenomenon engulfs the major part of our life’s practices.

Looking at the life style of different people ,the keen observer is made to understand that happiness is ,to a large extent,  a choice , an option and a matter of preference. The person who is happy is not necessarily the person who has no worries at all. He may be the person who has deliberately decided to live up his happy moments lavishly. For him the worries could be a stimulus in the way of making him strong.

The wise man knows that worries are common to all, so are the suffering. He keeps busy exploring the way-outs from his troubles.

I saw one of my acquaintances worrying ,and feeling very upset about the attitude of her colleagues. She complained that her colleagues were not respectful to her despite of her showing utmost courtesy to them. This phenomenon had made her very unhappy .She could not help saying, "I talk softly to them every time .I give them due regard. I meet them with smiles, but they are hell-bent on disregarding me .I am left with no option .I suppose I should leave my job.”

We face such odd occasions every now and then. We do usually find ourselves option less in these situations .But as a last resort, we need to have yet another look on our personality traits .We may ,sometimes, discover that we need to reshape our personality traits. We may need to examine our attitude afresh. Every word and every phrase has either a wedding bell or a sting attached. Words may have flavor of ego or humility.

After coming with multiple self-corrections, we can expect of the souls around us getting moulded for the good. The time tested traits of truth, beauty, and goodness are always rewarding .If we embrace decent attitude ,we will be showcasing all the three .After making it into our habit, we can expect the people around us flocking around us. Supposing people persist with their mean mentality and defy our decency, we are still at no loss .The decency in our attitude can win us thousands of decent people .We can rule over hearts of scores around us. Our obstinate colleagues are also expected with the passage of time, to having reassessment of our credibility.

There is always the second side of every coin. The people who are decisive to letting us down have their own shortcomings. Endorsing the rare talent in this context makes them feel inferior.

Familiarity breeds contempt. When some hardworking and dedicated official is appreciated by the boss, the mediocre ones slide into the background. Instead of improving their efforts they start fomenting grudges with the one who  is committed to his job. They start isolating him and looking for his flaws. They start accusing him of being egoistic, glib tongued, and double faced. In case the dedicated official is a girl, the erring officials can even descend on leveling her with the accusation of being in a living relationship with the boss.

The dsire for a good name and face is common to all. It is, however, only the determined and the dedicated people who do actually work for it. Such people know how much effort it takes to become number one. They face the challenges headlong. They even fail at times but they don’t give in. They correct themselves ,and ultimately come up with bright colours.

The voice within is our best endowment. We need to allow it rumble. While we deliver according to our inner voice, the world creates uproar of noises. We have to reassure ourselves to let the genuine voice survive amid the whirlpool of noises .When others try to suppress our voice we have to use our full strength to keep it afloat .we need to get muse from the self-talk .We will ,as a result, discover that our conscience is invariably applauding us for our coveted efforts. Someday the unwanted noises have to die out. They will die when they will see the genuine voice gaining momentum and soaring in the sky. The best answer to the mediocre people is our ultimate success. Once we see success eye to eye, we find thousands of mothers caressing and fondling us .Long ago H.W.Longfellow has voiced _

Let’s then be up and doing

 With a heart for any fate

Still achieving, still pursuing

Learn to labour and to wait

Let the winds from opposite direction run their course. They will have to sway the cradle of our dreams. They will have to allow the kite of our ambition soar in the vast expanse of the sky. Lets believe that when others will be dreading to dream big, there is always an opportunity for us to prove our mettle. In this case , if we face opposition, it will be worth it.